What is sexual apathy?

Sexual apathy is a situation where there is lack of interest in sex or sexual activities. It is also a situation in which partners in a romantic relationship drifts apart sexually. This means that there is little or no sexual activity between them. The end result of this is a reduction in communication, lack of emotional connection, a rise in resentment and ultimately, divorce.

Phil tossed the New York Times newspaper in his hand to the bedside table before hauling himself heavily on the bed, completely exhausted from work. His wife, Cloe emerges from the bathroom, completely naked. She mumbled a lame response to her husband’s greetings before drying herself with a towel lying on the bed. His  eyes roamed her naked body, but he felt no stirring. Gone were the days when her body held him spellbound. Her body has embraced the inevitable transformation of motherhood and age. He couldn’t remember the last time they had sex. It seems the older they got, the drifter they fell apart. They are practically drifting towards sexual apathy. It has even affected their communication so that they often spoke in monotones. He hissed, wondering how they would fix their sex life, going down the drain.

Why is sex so important in marriage?

Sex, is like a lubricant connecting the marriage partners physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. It is like the oil allowing the smooth running of marriage and the lack of it is the major cause of divorce. 

What are the causes of sexual apathy?

Most of the problems caused by sexual apathy are psychological in nature and here some of them.

Depression 

One major cause of sexual apathy is depression. A depressed man will not perform or show interest in sex. Depression itself could be brought about by marital and non marital problems.

Economic independence of women

According to an article, On Sexual Apathy in the Male by R.R. Greenson, published by National Library of Medicine, the rise of and economic independence of women in recent times and their assertiveness has given rise to a deep-seated fear and hatred for women. Consequently, this has created a lack of interest in sex towards women.

Lack of respect 

Respect is one of the threads that propels a man to love his wife. When this is missing, a man will struggle to connect sexually with his wife. When respect for the husband is lacking, it affects the sexuality of a man. A man’s libido is somehow connected with the way his wife perceives him. A man who senses that his person is not valued or respected will ultimately shut down and will probably seek sexual satisfaction where he is wanted.

Lack of communication

Communication precedes sex. A good communication channel will open up your wife for sexual activity. It is often said that creating an ambience of love and care is a prerequisite to getting your wife in the mode for sexual intimacy. A woman bereaved of love and care will drift away from sex or in the worst scenario, seek it elsewhere.

Familiarity 

Familiarity can make a man stop being romantic because he feels he has explored and known everything he has to know about his wife’s sexuality. Hence, dating, doting and every other thing he does while he was courting her fizzles out.

Stress

When the body is stressed, the mind can’t be in the right frame for any sexual activity.

Relationship Problems Relationship problems are a harbinger of sexual apathy.  You can’t possibly interest a man who is having issues in his relationship to be interested in sex.

Aging

Sometimes, aging can also be a reason for sexual apathy. When couples get older, sometimes their interest in sex diminishes.

Having explored some of the causes of sexual apathy, let’s now look at measures to be taken to deal with it.

1. Admittance 

The first step to dealing with sexual apathy is to admit there is a problem. This way, you have an open mind to adhere to workable solutions.

2. See a counselor 

Another step to take in dealing with sexual apathy is for you to see a counselor who can help you overcome this challenge.

3. Take time to rest

Lack of rest and accumulated stress have been a contributing factor to sexual apathy. Take out time to rest as this will rejuvenate your body.

4. Engage in regular exercise 

Timely and regular exercises can keep your body in shape and improve your sexual libido.

5. Use recommended medication 

Use prescribed medication to deal with sexual apathy in your relationship.

Sexual apathy is not alien to marriages. Your ability to deal with it head on by subscribing to the points shared above will help your marriage in no small measure.

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