
What is Paternity Fraud?
Paternity fraud is a woman’s intentional misappropriation of the identity of a child’s father. There are many reasons why a woman may decide to do this. One of the most common reasons is financially related. When a woman stands to benefit financially from a man if she attributes her pregnancy or child to the man. Other reasons could be as a result of fear of being discovered after engaging in sexual escapades with her ex or another man other than her husband. According to a survey, Jamaica has the highest cases of paternity fraud and Nigeria takes the second position.
Shaffer Chimere Smith aka Neyo, a popular American musician, has been paying child support to his ex-girlfriend who claimed that he was the father of her son. When the DNA testing came out negative, there was no way he could stop paying child support because the California law states that once a man has signed as the father of a child, it cannot be revoked.
In Canada, the Alberta court of Kings witnessed the case between Byron Unger and Dedra Scott in paternity fraud. Unger accused Scott of infidelity and he wanted back the 19 years payment of child support he had done following the restrictions Scott subjected him to with regard to their supposed 19 year old daughter.
In April, 2024, a Nigerian man of Edo extraction decided to relocate his wife and three children to Canada. As is the custom, the children had to be subjected to paternity tests. It was discovered that none of the children are his. The man was devastated and he took out his frustration on his wife by beating her back and blue.
Similarly, Punch, a Nigerian Newspaper published an article dated 19, December, 2023 and titled Paternity Fraud: Shocking Revelations as More Couples Embrace DNA Testing where cases of paternity fraud were related. A man who got married in 2017 came to a shocking realization that none of the four children of his marriage belonged to him when he decided to do a paternity test on his first child. That realization is enough to cause mental disorder or a desire to commit murder or even take one’s life.
A Nigeria comedian, Chinedu Ani popularly known as Nedu in 2019 discovered that the first son he ‘fathered’ with his then wife Uzoamaka Ohiri was not actually his. The wife argued that she didn’t do it intentionally. Adding that she was in a relationship prior to meeting Nedu. Consequently, the marriage ended in divorce.
Psychological Effects of Paternity fraud on men
Paternity fraud does not only affect the man but also the child or children in question. The discovery of fraud in paternity have resulted in the break up of families, resulted in deaths, psychological problems like mental disorders or even attempted suicide.
- Emotional trauma
The realization that your child or children do not belong to you is enough to cause emotional trauma. It is similar to believing in a lie especially if you and your wife have spent many years together. Most of the questions asked by these men are usually where to start from? Can women be trusted?
2. Depression
Coming to the realization that the child or children you call your are not actually fathered by you is enough to cause you depression. Men who experience this ugly situation find no meaning in life anymore. The thought running through their mind is how to get out of the situation using any methods available.
3. Shock
The feeling these men experience is that of shock. The problem of reconciling the truth versus the lie stands heavy like an insurmountable mountain. Some may not even recover from the shock throughout their lifetime.
4. Suicidal thoughts
The need to escape from this ugly truth leads some men to having suicidal thoughts. Many will want to end their life because of this.
5. Shame and disgrace
A man who has suffered paternity fraud will undoubtedly experience that feeling of shame and disgrace. He may feel less of a man or actually thinks himself impotent. He may even see himself as being a fool for years.
How To Handle Paternity Fraud
This is an uneasy pill to swallow. How does one handle this problem? Paternity fraud is not a new phenomenon. It has been in existence since man began living on the earth. What are the best methods in handling paternity fraud? How should a man respond to this?
1. Acceptance
As difficult as this may sound, it is the eventual inevitability that one will accept. The deed has been done and the next thing is how to manage the situation without resorting to injury to oneself or to others.
2. Take time off
You can possibly take some time off your immediate environment so as to process your thoughts. Staying put in the area where this has happened may trigger a high level of depression.
3. Forgiveness
Forgiveness is one of the most difficult actions to take when you have been blatantly deceived by your wife or girlfriend about the paternity of your child or children. nonetheless, it is the right thing to do.
4. Protect the children
Exposing the children to their paternity may cause more harm than good. Such children may develop a feeling of worthlessness and may even decide to take their own life. Even if the truth had to be revealed, it has to be done with a lot of carefulness.
5. Don’t change your attitude
Having suffered paternity fraud can make a man change his attitude towards the children because they are not his. Do not allow this. Never make a bad situation, change your attitude. Some men who suffered paternity fraud still went ahead to continue their responsibilities towards the children without revealing the truth about their paternity until they can make informed decisions.
Conclusion
The deed has been done. You have been deceived. How you handle the situation is very important. Accepting the situation even if you want a divorce, taking some time off, embracing forgiveness, protecting your sanity and those of the children are some of the steps you can take to prevent further damage.
READ ALSO: 10 Co-parenting Advice For Divorced Dads
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