cute boy whose parents are raising beautifully

Raising Beautiful Boys: Altering Stereotypes on Male Sex Education

2023-10-09T20:06:46+00:00

By Publisher

Raising boys the right way has become incredibly important in this day and age. This post reveals the huge challenge that is currently facing society, and how raising “beautiful” boys will help us surmount it.Please read on.

The problem

Over the last few years, reports of various forms of sexual harassment have filled the media worldwide. And at the top of these reports are the cases of rape victims, mostly females and minors.An article on Cable Network News (CNN) titled: “Sexual Harassment: How it Stands Around the Globe” gives a clear graphical breakdown of the percentage of women and girls who have undergone various forms of sexual harassment around the world. The article says at least 37% of women globally have experienced physical abuse or sexual violence.120 million girls have experienced forced sex or other sexual acts. 43% of girls in Nigeria are married off before their 18^th birthday. In South Africa, almost 3 out of 4 women experienced some form of abuse in the past year.Reports from the Zimbabwe National Statistics Agency (2012) say that 1 in 5 women in Zimbabwe reported that the first time they had sex, it was forced or against their will.Stop Street Harassment (2016) says that 64% of women have experienced unwanted sexual harassment in public places in the UK, while 65% of US women have experienced some form of street harassment.The fact that these reports on various forms of alleged sexual harassment have been filling the American media in recent times only proves that the statistics are believable. And more alarming is the fact that these allegations have come against famous and well-known persons.For example, eight women have alleged that former president of the United States, George H. W. Bush, groped and patted their rear ends.Even in the sexual harassment picture are big-time Hollywood producer, Harvey Weistein; Fox News reporters, Roger E. Ailes and Bill O’ Reilly; CBS television host, Charlie Rose; New York Times reporter, Glenn Thrush; and Senator Al Franklin.

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And not to forget, House of Representative member, Jackie Speier, has revealed that she was sexually harassed as a young congressional staff.Damning statistics, aren’t they?If you follow the media enough, you would notice a rise in the number of rape cases being reported. Hardly does any day pass in some countries without a mention of a minor being raped or sexually assaulted. And the worst part is that most of them involve a minor against someone very much older, say 40, 50, 70, who knows, even 80.However, this incidence of sexual harassment all over the globe is not limited to rape alone. Cases of sexual harassment, sex scandal, sex tapes, etc., are also very common in workplaces, and even tertiary institutions.The recent sex-for-grades campaign by the BBC saw many lecturers at universities fired for sexual harassment and assault.

Any solutions?

Various solutions have been suggested. Some include: open and effective dialogue, attitudinal change or shift, and the calling out and sanctioning of such inappropriate behaviours wherever they are found.Companies should protect their employees, too. However, whatever the measure, we still need to tackle the root cause of the problem.And that is what this article is all about.

Raising beautiful boys: What steps must parents take?

Let us examine the right steps that parents should take in raising their male children. Raising boys the right way will ensure societal change and go a long way towards helping the world eliminate sexual harassment and assault.

An altar to alter?

In a typical African family setting, the female child is brought up with some form of sexual consciousness. The girl child is taught to sit properly “with her two legs closed”.She is taught the importance of maintaining a clean and healthy body, and in some homes, she is not allowed to wear skimpy dresses. She is warned not to walk late in the night, and trained to say no to mischievous boys. Parents chase away boys when they find them with their daughters … the list is endless.

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In other words, parents subconsciously imbue their female children with some form of sexual consciousness—and indeed vulnerability. And these, to some extent, have helped the female child to achieve some form of ‘sexual’ maturity (that’s for the child who succumbs to domestic training, anyways.), although other agents of socialization like the church, mosque, school, media, etc., play their parts in this process.But there is one obvious omission: the male child is missing in the equation. He is hardly prepared for anything.

What’s the so-called stereotype?

Because the male is perceived to be less susceptible to sexual harassment, less is done in the area of educating the male child on sexual modesty.The male child grows up to believe that they can marry as many wives, sleep with as many women as they want, so long as they can pull through, or have the money to.Less training on sexual consciousness (or should I say, less training on sexual modesty) for the male child is not unconnected with the age-long dominance of the male gender, or the deep-rooted, age-long practice of patriarchy.However, there is a dire need to alter this practice. There is a need for change in that orientation. And at no other time has it been more pertinent than now when its ravaging effect is rippling through the many strata of our society.Consequently, boys should also be taught to ‘control’ or ‘tame’ what lies beneath their two legs. They should be trained not to force a lady to bed because she seems to be indecently dressed or sexually provoking. They should be taught not to see the weakness of a minor (or even any female, for that matter) as an opportunity to have carnal knowledge of them. They should be taught not to grow up thinking of females as nothing but puppets in the hands of a grandmaster puppeteer—the male.They should also be taught the need to maintain abstinence until marriage and the need to self-consciously train themselves to be the ‘man’ they are supposed to be.

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Throughout the period of their transition process from adolescence through early adulthood, they should also be imbued with the need to maintain sexual modesty.

Now, who are the ‘beautiful boys’?

‘Beautiful’ as used in this article simply implies modesty, propriety, self-control, positive thinking, and self-comportment. So boys, just like their female counterparts, should also pass through that long process of subconscious refinement or tutelage.Although this is in no way a quick elixir to reducing the incidence of sexual assaults, going back to the base (i.e. family) will go a long way towards redefining the male value, orientation, precepts and thinking towards sex and the female susceptibility.

Final thoughts

This article is in no way suggesting that the male gender is responsible or is to be blamed for the menace. It is simply an honest call for societal reorientation, another attitude shift, an alteration of a stereotype, a redefinition of societal value.In addition to open and effective dialogue, sanctioning of inappropriate behaviour, protection of staff members, increased awareness, increased NGOs and women-led initiatives, and more calls for action from other agents of socialization, the home still remains a veritable breeding ground for raising ‘beautiful’ boys.