You see, as a guy, there are some questions that don’t even need answering—until they do. You’re cruising through life, avoiding unnecessary drama, and then bam! You find yourself in one tricky situation like mine. Let me break it down for you.

It was a typical Friday night. Me and the guys were hanging out, enjoying cold drinks, loud laughs, and the kind of banter only found in the heart of Lagos. Just when the gist was at its peak, Tunde dropped the bombshell.

“Bro, you and Chioma have been talking a lot lately… anything there?”

Now, the thing is, Chioma and I had been catching some serious vibes. The problem? She used to date Tunde. Not one of those casual “we went to the cinema twice” kind of dates. No. They were deep in the thing—three years, if I remember correctly.

So, when Tunde popped the question, I did what any man would do—I laughed it off. But deep down, my mind was racing. “How did he know? Was it that obvious? Am I breaking some unwritten bro code?”

Now, let’s be real for a minute. There’s no official guidebook for this kind of thing, but we all know the golden rule: Don’t mess with your boy’s ex. Yet, in my head, I found myself justifying it. Tunde and Chioma broke up nearly two years ago. Two years! That’s like a lifetime in Lagos relationship terms. Besides, it wasn’t like I was planning a full-blown romance. We were just talking… for now.

But then again, what if I was getting too comfortable with the idea? You know that moment where you convince yourself that you’re not the villain? That’s where I was.

After a few weeks of trying to “act normal” around the guys, the tension finally hit. Chioma and I had a late dinner (totally platonic… okay, maybe there was some hand-holding, but I swear that was all her doing!). As I dropped her off that night, she looked at me with those eyes—you know the type. The eyes that make you start planning your entire future in your head.

I got home and immediately felt the weight of it all. Should I call Tunde? Should I ask for his blessing? What if he says no and things get awkward between us?

I did what any sensible guy would do—I turned to Twitter. You’ll be shocked at the amount of men that are lowkey okay with dating a friend’s ex, as long as it’s “not serious.” My guy! The justifications were wild! Some were like, “If she’s single, she’s free market o.” Others said, “Guy, bros before… you know the rest.”

But Twitter isn’t reality, and I knew it. The truth is, no matter how much I rationalised it, dating your friend’s ex is a potential recipe for wahala. It’s like putting two eggs in one basket and then casually tossing the basket into a moving okada. You’re just waiting for the crash.

The next day, I met up with Tunde, and we had one of those man-to-man conversations. I told him the truth, no point hiding it anymore. His reaction? It wasn’t exactly what I expected. He didn’t get mad or start throwing punches (thankfully), but he did give me that deep, reflective look.

“Guy,” he said, “If you really like her, do what you have to do. But remember, once you cross that line, there’s no going back. It won’t just be about you and her anymore. You’ll have me, all our mutual friends, and memories to deal with. So, think carefully.”

That hit differently. Tunde didn’t give me his full blessing, but he didn’t tell me to back off either. He left me with a decision to make. And that’s when I realised—dating your friend’s ex is never as simple as “yes” or “no.” It’s about the people involved, the emotions at stake, and, most importantly, whether it’s truly worth it.

At the end of the day, here’s what I learned: If you’re going to date your friend’s ex, make sure it’s for the right reasons. If it’s just for vibes or casual fun, don’t bother. It’s not worth risking the friendship. But if there’s something deeper—if you’re certain she’s the one—you better be ready to handle the consequences like a man. Because trust me, the fallout can be more intense than you expect.

And as for me and Chioma? Well, let’s just say I’m still thinking things through. After all, life’s too short for unnecessary drama, and Tunde is still my guy.