Society teaches us as men to be tough when death snatches our loved ones. However, it doesn’t always happen that way. Death is an inevitable eventuality. It is the skin we wear; whether black or white, rich or poor. Death is one of the phenomena that is non racist. It kills both the good and the bad. It is the shadow that follows us wherever; whether by day, noon or night. Death is the debt every living things must pay. We don’t have to look for death. It is present with us. It is in that terminal illness, that fatal accident, that gunshot, that suicide and a host of other ways through which we will one way or another die.

No one desires to lose a loved one. The pain a man experiences when he loses a loved one is better imagined than experienced. The loss of a child has taken the will of some men to live. Some have taken their own lives because they can’t imagine living life without the departed one. The loss of a loved one digs up painful memories in one. It brings back the moments you shared together with the departed one when he or she was alive. The pain you went through, the triumphs and defeats that life shoots at you. And now, losing a member of the family to death, is a fatal blow; a wound that sometimes even time can never heal. It is a void that refuses to be filled. What then should men know about death?

1. Death Is Inevitable

The strongest of men are still susceptible to weep, sorrow and lament over the dead. The memory of the dead hurts and haunts us. We blame God, we blame situations and even blame ourselves when we seem incapable to stop death from doing the damage. But the fact is that no amount of crying, no amount of sorrow or refusal to get back to living out our normal life is sufficient to bring back the dead. The dead is gone and perhaps gone forever. Life is a circle of birth and death; a beginning and an ending. When we have and accept this consciousness, we can be able to weather through the storm that this pain brings. To cope as a man is to accept the fact that the departed one has solved his or her own part of the puzzle of life. It is not in your place to determine who lives a fulfilled or an unfulfilled life. Life must come, life must go.

2. Death Eases Pain

We fail to believe or accept the fact that death sometimes eases our pain. It takes from us what we cannot give willingly. Take for instance, a terminally ill member of the family, bedridden and experiencing excruciating pains. We go through pain nursing that member of the family. We experience their pains, we witness their tears and sometimes wish that they be free while we take on their pains. If such a loved one eventually dies, they are relieved from pain and we also experience some form of relief even though we might not see it that way. You no longer have to spend your night and day being by his or her side, you don’t need to spend more money on either medicine or on surgery as the case may be. In this way, death has relieved you of some pains even though the memory of the departed one lingers on. 

3. Death Haunts The Memory

Memory doesn’t serve a man well when it comes to the loss of a dear one. The memory of the dead keeps coming to you in your thoughts and even in your dreams. There is no possible way to stop thinking about them. You will always think about them because they used to be part of you but not anymore.

4. Death Makes You See Clearly 

No man desires to lose his child to death not even for the promise of a better hereafter. Most times, when a man loses a member of his family, he tends to see clearly. It makes him think deeply about his own life. As it is said, it is better to go to the house of mourning than to the house of merriment. What this does to a man is to make him think well about his life. It makes him give life the best shot that he has got. It makes him view life through the prism of a different perspective. A man drowning in the sea does not give up just like that; he fights for his life. That is what life is meant for. It is meant to be fought for. Those who live to the peak of their life, in my own opinion, are those who, despite being beset by a gamut of misfortunes, still fight and rise from the ashes of their pains to live their normal lives. As a man, you need to know that life is just a mist; a vapour here now, and then gone the next second. It makes you take life as it comes. It makes you live life as though it can end any minute. And that is the truth! If you know this, you will take life piecemeal; a piece at a time.

Conclusion 

Death is a debt everyone must pay. The earlier you settle this thought in your mind, the better for you. Losing a loved one is certainly not the end of life. The pain will be there but don’t give up on life because of this. Since you still have this breath in you, it means life must continue. It means you must continue to live life until that time it is taken away. So, let the pain go. Let the hurt remain in the past. There is a lot ahead of you and a lot of great things waiting to be achieved. Now that you still have breath, live, aspire, dream and achieve more with it.